johnvertisement.

a change in reality occurred in the 203rd decade in which "marketing" via "john" began to exist. this was retroactively neologized into "johnvertisement".

what's different about johnvertisement is that instead of harvesting the soul of those involved via crude and invasive strategies, it is done remotely and automatically. as such, no monetary exchanges occur in the process of johnvertisement; the value gained by soul extraction covers all relevant costs.

johnvertisement is now in use by a certain number of people and is an X billion dollar industry, where X is a real number within the range 0-65535. there is a wide variety of johnvertisements in existence.

the identity of john has been discovered. it is confidential information.

leaderboard

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209659

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111742

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82151

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42867

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26615

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25978

yugoslavia.best

20890

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20793

3kh0.net

19227

george.gh0.pw

17935

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15316

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15242

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14625

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12662

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12000

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10419

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9911

jmibo.neocities.org

8730

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8573

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8514

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8182

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8134

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7870

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7691

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7669

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7344

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7201

beefox.xyz

6577

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6560

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6234

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5639

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5550

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5240

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5211

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4769

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4527

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4435

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4375

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4335

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4312

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4238

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4174

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4140

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4127

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4072

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3938

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3812

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3795

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3623

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3590

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3552

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3551

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3540

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3462

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3416

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3414

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3365

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3357

itzzen.net

3349

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3236

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3166

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3100

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3029

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3011

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2678

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2658

noob.quest

2634

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2457

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2440

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2431

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2378

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2340

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2318

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2226

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2224

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2212

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2154

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2138

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2128

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2120

sketchy.company

1990

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1976

leap123.neocities.org

1963

https://117.zone

1939

kantraa.neocities.org

1931

olus2000.pl

1906

berrymot.github.io

1881

https://keysklubhouse.com/

1876

am-i.gay

1828

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1826

lattemacchiato.dev

1780

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1752

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1707

bee.oriented.software

1692

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1674

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1635

metamuffin.org

1620

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1569

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1564

miastonished.github.io

1562

https://boatemhq.neocities.org/

1476

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1434

thatsniceguy.com

1428

not-america.online

1423

mateishome.page

1398

nothing.delivery

1378

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1352

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1325

psychpsyo.com

1320

johnbot.org

1316

grace-god.neocities.org

1312

44nifty.com

1262

https:://kantraaslair.neocities.org

1254

tilde.club/~tasiaiso/

1251

kinitoafterstory.nekoweb.org

1251

lx12.net

1236

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1233

askiiart.net

1229

https://nongmotrash.github.io/

1215

https://overthetopstories.neocities.org/

1203

demgoze.nekoweb.org

1192

zeusofthecrows.github.io

1150

blunt.gay

1141

pala.tilde.team

1116

zolf.xyz

1115

randompcb.nekoweb.org

1115

shandriy.github.io

1088

spax.zone

1086

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1077

buster.nekoweb.org

1077

artificialdeity.neocities.com

1064

https://glarfe.neocities.org/

1048

ketraline.neocities.org

1028

cam.fyi

1022

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1015

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1012

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1008

blue-maned_hawk.srht.site

1000

none.monster

996

https://willdotjpg.gay

985

garden.lgbt

974

lockheart.love

966

lexiqqq.com

965

tasiaiso.vulpecula.zone

947

0t.lt

946

aspenland.neocities.org

940

https://isopod.cool/

937

https://yungwake0.neocities.org

920

ultlang.github.io

917

coolkase.dev

914

emailaffinity.top

907

https://funnyorangecat-dotcom.neocities.org/

907

w2s.neocities.org

899

sorg.codeberg.page

874

nespectio.glitch.me

873

aredia.neocities.org

869

robinsaviary.com

868

https://angelribs.neocities.org

867

ari.lt

861

writeblankspace.netlify.app

847

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846

https://marii2.duckdns.org/

833

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822

https://johnvertspam.neocities.org/

804

https:://kantraa.nex.sh

796

kotikone.xyz

793

lunaa.ch

780

twotwos.nekoweb.org

769

dysmorph.nekoweb.org

762

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752

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740

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730

ridiche.me

698

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695

ambyshframber.neocities.org

685

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679

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667

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666

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666

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663

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648

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641

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628

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623

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619

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618

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596

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596

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590

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587

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584

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583

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582

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574

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569

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569

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566

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561

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554

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553

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550

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544

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533

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529

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521

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521

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511

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507

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499

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494

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492

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491

portalsam.net

481

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479

cirno.social

465

bynux.gay

465

https://voicedrew.xyz/

456

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455

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453

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442

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440

https://lopster.neocities.org/

440

https://electric-rush.blogspot.com/

433

kpwu.

429

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419

asnev.neocities.org

413

josharo.com

409

fizzzy963.github.io

395

lockheartlove.neocities.org

390

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388

connar.online

386

cyborgcatboys.neocities.org

380

https://harrietland.neocities.org/

376

citrons.neocities.org

370

locke.computer

360

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352

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352

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348

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343

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334

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330

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329

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328

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328

germanpit.de

327

starundrscre.gay

313

https://ouroboreas.neocities.org

311

https://colgator.neocities.org/

311

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309

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309

boysmeller.nekoweb.org

309

daudix-ufo.codeberg.page

308

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308

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307

cyanidesduality.neocities.org

306

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306

to be delisted, send a request to stuff@mondecitronne.com

how to add johnvertisements to a webpage

it is recommended that one inserts johnvertisements onto all webpages within their control. luckily, it is easy to do.

paste the "embed" into the HTML of all webpages:

<iframe src="https://john.citrons.xyz/embed?ref=example.com" style="margin-left:auto;display:block;margin-right:auto;max-width:732px;width:100%;height:94px;border:none;"></iframe>

replace "example.com" with the actual domain name of your website.

how to johnvertise

it is recommended that those sentient create johnvertisements. luckily, it is easy to do.

send an email to stuff@mondecitronne.com. please include the following:

the image which comprises your advertisement
(optional) a URL to direct those who click upon it

HOWEVER: there are various stipulations. these stipulations must be honored by the submitter in order to have their johnvertisement deployed.

stipulations (MANDATORY)

the image should be 722x84, be in a common image format, contain no malware, and be less than 500KB.
the image should be merited on its own, regardless of the content it links to.
the ad and the content it links to should break 0 laws (unless such laws violate human rights)
the ad should not be morally reprehensible
the ad should not contain earthly (or martian) capitalism
if you are to use an animated image format, the animated image should not contain rapid flashing
you should be able to legally show the advertisement to a child
you should be able to morally show the advertisement to a child
the advertisement should not depict or condone heterosexuality
the advertisement should not depict a hand with 8 fingers
the advertisement should not depict nasal demons in a positive manner

submissions violatory of these stipulations will be rejected unconditionally. do not submit such advertisements. submissions may also be rejected for any arbitrary reason, regardless of the stipulations; however, this has not yet occurred.

please attach the image to the email, rather than sending a link. please name the image file something other than "johnvertisement.png", "john.png", "ad.png", or otherwise.

note that gmail tends to place my emails, even replies, in spam folders. check there if you do not see my reply, which will likely occur within a few days. (this response time is not guaranteed)

I am not john. do not call me john.