johnvertisement.

a change in reality occurred in the 203rd decade in which "marketing" via "john" began to exist. this was retroactively neologized into "johnvertisement".

what's different about johnvertisement is that instead of harvesting the soul of those involved via crude and invasive strategies, it is done remotely and automatically. as such, no monetary exchanges occur in the process of johnvertisement; the value gained by soul extraction covers all relevant costs.

johnvertisement is now in use by a certain number of people and is an X billion dollar industry, where X is a real number within the range 0-65535. there is a wide variety of johnvertisements in existence.

the identity of john has been discovered. it is confidential information.

leaderboard

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209481

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109659

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60564

foreverliketh.is

42464

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25624

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24964

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20264

yugoslavia.best

20207

3kh0.net

19195

george.gh0.pw

17555

sites.google.com/view/limelock/

15175

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14346

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13594

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12300

fishme.me

11990

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10046

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9701

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8515

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8091

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7686

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7664

jizzmail.com

7633

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6932

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6685

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6361

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6278

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6115

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5438

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5274

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5031

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4763

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4712

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4514

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4431

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4370

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4298

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4152

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4135

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4095

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3790

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3764

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3690

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3607

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3582

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3535

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3513

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3347

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3338

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3334

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3268

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3248

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3142

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3141

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3130

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2936

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2826

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2814

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2634

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2519

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2487

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2426

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2404

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2258

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2228

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2175

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2148

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2133

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2133

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2051

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2030

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2012

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1909

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1880

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1877

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1876

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1874

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1870

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1860

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1849

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1808

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1799

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1770

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1753

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1715

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1714

lattemacchiato.dev

1667

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1616

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1562

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1553

cancelled.work

1512

metamuffin.org

1511

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1496

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1461

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1418

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1401

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1380

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1349

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1339

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1313

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1303

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1293

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1256

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1252

tilde.club/~tasiaiso/

1245

psychpsyo.com

1242

mateishome.page

1238

maven.pages.gay

1234

osmarks.net

1228

https://nongmotrash.github.io/

1210

johnbot.org

1166

https://overthetopstories.neocities.org/

1148

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1137

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1115

lx12.net

1114

zeusofthecrows.github.io

1113

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1094

crispylettuce3.github.io

1071

buster.nekoweb.org

1071

randompcb.nekoweb.org

1070

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1044

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1021

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1020

cam.fyi

1017

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1005

shandriy.github.io

1004

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1002

artificialdeity.neocities.com

993

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980

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980

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976

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960

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943

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916

coolkase.dev

906

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902

emailaffinity.top

901

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899

aspenland.neocities.org

891

ultlang.github.io

881

garden.lgbt

874

sorg.codeberg.page

867

nespectio.glitch.me

862

w2s.neocities.org

857

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835

kinitoafterstory.nekoweb.org

835

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829

https://marii2.duckdns.org/

822

https://basketsjourney.neocities.org/

798

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796

lockheart.love

795

writeblankspace.netlify.app

775

tasiaiso.vulpecula.zone

761

https://isopod.cool/

752

https://johnvertspam.neocities.org/

746

lunaa.ch

746

kotikone.xyz

733

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733

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732

robinsaviary.com

709

sungsphinx.codeberg.page

703

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700

twotwos.nekoweb.org

689

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668

korio.me

661

ambyshframber.neocities.org

660

k00.eu

656

lukena.cc

655

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647

poetofu.neocities.org

640

deci.pages.gay

636

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624

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614

cominixo.dev

614

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613

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612

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590

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582

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579

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578

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554

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549

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543

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535

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534

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523

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516

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512

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512

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503

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499

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493

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492

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487

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487

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470

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468

cirno.social

460

dysmorph.nekoweb.org

460

bynux.gay

459

gingershaped.computer

459

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452

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450

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441

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435

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433

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419

kpwu.

418

lim95.com

414

asnev.neocities.org

413

http://amiller42.github.io/Cursed-Language

411

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411

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410

portalsam.net

408

josharo.com

403

jingle balls

396

fizzzy963.github.io

390

daudix.exozy.me

384

lockheartlove.neocities.org

384

connar.online

380

cyborgcatboys.neocities.org

376

ari.lt

366

citrons.neocities.org

364

locke.computer

356

https://harrietland.neocities.org/

350

daudix.envs.net

347

alextecplayz.github.io

347

university.of-john.com

342

the-sauna.icu

333

nkko.me

325

arklamp.neocities.org

324

wlodekm.nekoweb.org

315

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309

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308

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307

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305

axtlos.neocities.org

304

gracee.lol

303

https://staticpour.neocities.org/

303

dabric.xyz

302

daudix-ufo.codeberg.page

302

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301

darxoon.github.io

299

cyanidesduality.neocities.org

296

boysmeller.nekoweb.org

293

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292

argil.dev

291

xeras.amongtech.cc

290

deci.systems

290

webbed-site.web.app

288

kayh.dev

287

to be delisted, send a request to stuff@mondecitronne.com

how to add johnvertisements to a webpage

it is recommended that one inserts johnvertisements onto all webpages within their control. luckily, it is easy to do.

paste the "embed" into the HTML of all webpages:

<iframe src="https://john.citrons.xyz/embed?ref=example.com" style="margin-left:auto;display:block;margin-right:auto;max-width:732px;width:100%;height:94px;border:none;"></iframe>

replace "example.com" with the actual domain name of your website.

how to johnvertise

it is recommended that those sentient create johnvertisements. luckily, it is easy to do.

send an email to stuff@mondecitronne.com. please include the following:

the image which comprises your advertisement
(optional) a URL to direct those who click upon it

HOWEVER: there are various stipulations. these stipulations must be honored by the submitter in order to have their johnvertisement deployed.

stipulations (MANDATORY)

the image should be 722x84, be in a common image format, contain no malware, and be less than 500KB.
the image should be merited on its own, regardless of the content it links to.
the ad and the content it links to should break 0 laws (unless such laws violate human rights)
the ad should not be morally reprehensible
the ad should not contain earthly (or martian) capitalism
if you are to use an animated image format, the animated image should not contain rapid flashing
you should be able to legally show the advertisement to a child
you should be able to morally show the advertisement to a child
the advertisement should not depict or condone heterosexuality
the advertisement should not depict a hand with 8 fingers
the advertisement should not depict nasal demons in a positive manner

submissions violatory of these stipulations will be rejected unconditionally. do not submit such advertisements. submissions may also be rejected for any arbitrary reason, regardless of the stipulations; however, this has not yet occurred.

please attach the image to the email, rather than sending a link. please name the image file something other than "johnvertisement.png", "john.png", "ad.png", or otherwise.

note that gmail tends to place my emails, even replies, in spam folders. check there if you do not see my reply, which will likely occur within a few days. (this response time is not guaranteed)

I am not john. do not call me john.