johnvertisement.
a change in reality occurred in the 203rd decade in which "marketing" via "john" began to exist. this was retroactively neologized into "johnvertisement".
what's different about johnvertisement is that instead of harvesting the soul of those involved via crude and invasive strategies, it is done remotely and automatically. as such, no monetary exchanges occur in the process of johnvertisement; the value gained by soul extraction covers all relevant costs.
johnvertisement is now in use by a certain number of people and is an X billion dollar industry, where X is a real number within the range 0-65535. there is a wide variety of johnvertisements in existence.
the identity of john has been discovered. it is confidential information.
leaderboard
whiletrue.neocities.org
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78504
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33632
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18924
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17912
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15141
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12044
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11904
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10267
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3306
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3185
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3132
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3084
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2111
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2095
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1973
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1857
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1808
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1628
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1616
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1587
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1506
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1504
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1430
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1389
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1220
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1164
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1161
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1107
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1039
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1035
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1017
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991
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986
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980
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979
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966
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959
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951
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935
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929
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901
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890
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886
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872
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872
emailaffinity.top
870
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861
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847
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832
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822
tilde.club/~tasiaiso/
804
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803
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794
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782
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772
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757
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753
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747
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742
maven.pages.gay
714
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698
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682
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651
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633
ultlang.github.io
631
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630
w2s.neocities.org
622
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618
https://isopod.cool/
613
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609
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607
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603
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599
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587
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562
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557
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556
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545
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537
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537
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523
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518
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514
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513
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510
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502
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495
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491
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490
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486
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465
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460
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458
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457
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454
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443
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433
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425
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423
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421
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414
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413
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409
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396
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370
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366
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363
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361
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361
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361
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354
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348
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344
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344
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337
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335
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333
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326
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321
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321
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320
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314
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312
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311
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311
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303
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302
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300
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299
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296
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287
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287
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285
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284
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283
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282
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282
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278
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275
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273
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266
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265
darxoon.neocities.org
261
deci.systems
261
argil.dev
258
thecoolwebsite.com
255
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248
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236
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236
ginger.rto.community
232
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230
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227
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226
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226
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226
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225
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216
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216
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213
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212
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211
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210
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208
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201
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200
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199
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195
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193
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192
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191
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190
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189
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184
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181
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181
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181
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180
www.lavignes.dev
178
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177
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175
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174
https://harrietland.neocities.org/
167
jan-jo.neocities.org
166
daudix.neocities.org
166
http://kingstudios.neocities.org
165
projectms4.neocities.org
164
lightmaxifrvr.github.io
163
infokol.space
161
neocitiesdotneocities.neocities.org
159
ashli.dev
158
https://blueboi.neokweb.org/
155
kingstudios.neocities.org
153
furdev.net
153
palindromic.neocities.org
148
https://lapislabel.net
146
astrolazybones.github.io
145
https://subkeys.github.io
143
niszogen.com
141
to be delisted, send a request to stuff@mondecitronne.com
how to add johnvertisements to a webpage
it is recommended that one inserts johnvertisements onto all webpages within their control. luckily, it is easy to do.
paste the "embed" into the HTML of all webpages:
<iframe src="https://john.citrons.xyz/embed?ref=example.com" style="margin-left:auto;display:block;margin-right:auto;max-width:732px;width:100%;height:94px;border:none;"></iframe>
replace "example.com" with the actual domain name of your website.
how to johnvertise
it is recommended that those sentient create johnvertisements. luckily, it is easy to do.
send an email to stuff@mondecitronne.com. please include the following:
- the image which comprises your advertisement
- (optional) a URL to direct those who click upon it
HOWEVER: there are various stipulations. these stipulations must be honored by the submitter in order to have their johnvertisement deployed.
stipulations (MANDATORY)
- the image should be 722x84, be in a common image format, contain no malware, and be less than 500KB.
- the image should be merited on its own, regardless of the content it links to.
- the ad and the content it links to should break 0 laws (unless such laws violate human rights)
- the ad should not be morally reprehensible
- the ad should not contain earthly (or martian) capitalism
- if you are to use an animated image format, the animated image should not contain rapid flashing
- you should be able to legally show the advertisement to a child
- you should be able to morally show the advertisement to a child
- the advertisement should not depict or condone heterosexuality
- the advertisement should not depict a hand with 8 fingers
- the advertisement should not depict nasal demons in a positive manner
submissions violatory of these stipulations will be rejected unconditionally. do not submit such advertisements. submissions may also be rejected for any arbitrary reason, regardless of the stipulations; however, this has not yet occurred.
please attach the image to the email, rather than sending a link. please name the image file something other than "johnvertisement.png", "john.png", "ad.png", or otherwise.
note that gmail tends to place my emails, even replies, in spam folders. check there if you do not see my reply, which will likely occur within a few days. (this response time is not guaranteed)
I am not john. do not call me john.