johnvertisement.
a change in reality occurred in the 203rd decade in which "marketing" via "john" began to exist. this was retroactively neologized into "johnvertisement".
what's different about johnvertisement is that instead of harvesting the soul of those involved via crude and invasive strategies, it is done remotely and automatically. as such, no monetary exchanges occur in the process of johnvertisement; the value gained by soul extraction covers all relevant costs.
johnvertisement is now in use by a certain number of people and is an X billion dollar industry, where X is a real number within the range 0-65535. there is a wide variety of johnvertisements in existence.
the identity of john has been discovered. it is confidential information.
leaderboard
whiletrue.neocities.org
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mondecitronne.com
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foreverliketh.is
40476
https://thedressedmolerat.github.io/
26774
example.com
24470
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22569
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19382
3kh0.net
19164
yugoslavia.best
18831
george.gh0.pw
16859
sites.google.com/view/limelock/
14167
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13831
fishme.me
11970
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11704
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tendokyu.moe
9339
jmibo.neocities.org
8094
https://meyyebs.neocities.org/
8019
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7676
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7228
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https://mizuki.world
6523
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6056
beefox.xyz
5817
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freya.cat
5164
authenyo.xyz
5122
mregggga.github.io
4796
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4783
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4362
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4205
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4180
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4129
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4009
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3964
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3780
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3583
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3569
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3525
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3489
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3333
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3284
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3253
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3208
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2986
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2744
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2708
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2555
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2506
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2450
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2420
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2324
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2302
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2289
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2137
mym.moe
2125
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2119
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2076
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1902
berrymot.github.io
1870
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1805
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1782
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1781
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1768
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1763
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1742
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1712
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1688
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1673
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1645
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1641
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1635
coderrrrr.site
1552
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1542
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1528
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1522
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1520
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1499
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1411
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1372
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1366
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1316
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1296
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1283
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1272
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1245
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1245
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1239
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1220
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1219
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1211
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1208
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1191
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1187
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1168
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1135
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1130
psychpsyo.com
1114
maven.pages.gay
1105
crispylettuce3.github.io
1063
https://overthetopstories.neocities.org/
1063
zeusofthecrows.github.io
1059
pala.tilde.team
1053
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1037
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1008
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1008
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1007
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999
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997
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972
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970
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952
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949
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945
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933
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923
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921
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910
askiiart.net
906
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903
emailaffinity.top
894
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893
zolf.xyz
875
artificialdeity.neocities.com
861
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860
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854
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837
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829
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814
ultlang.github.io
804
aredia.neocities.org
802
w2s.neocities.org
801
garden.lgbt
798
https:://kantraa.nex.sh
796
aspenland.neocities.org
795
https://angelribs.neocities.org
785
shandriy.github.io
763
coolkase.dev
753
lunaa.ch
744
https://marii2.duckdns.org/
738
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713
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696
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687
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676
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671
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654
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653
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637
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636
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632
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631
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630
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629
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626
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619
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617
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606
23sonics.zone
594
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581
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574
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572
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570
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561
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556
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549
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544
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531
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529
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526
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523
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506
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488
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479
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478
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452
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446
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444
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444
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443
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433
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427
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426
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419
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413
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407
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405
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397
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391
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391
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388
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384
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382
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380
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377
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375
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372
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369
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368
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357
citrons.neocities.org
355
http://amiller42.github.io/Cursed-Language
351
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348
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339
daudix.envs.net
337
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334
the-sauna.icu
333
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331
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317
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316
portalsam.net
316
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313
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309
gracee.lol
303
dabric.xyz
302
starundrscre.gay
300
https://harrietland.neocities.org/
297
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297
daudix-ufo.codeberg.page
296
axtlos.neocities.org
295
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293
darxoon.github.io
290
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290
wlodekm.nekoweb.org
288
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287
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283
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283
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282
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282
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278
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277
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275
thecoolwebsite.com
274
https://sites.google.com/view/wdbgr/home
265
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262
natesmind.space
260
boysmeller.nekoweb.org
260
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258
ginger.rto.community
253
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250
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249
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242
https://abbys-notebook.neocities.org/
241
https://tetrisk-lair.neocities.org/
240
to be delisted, send a request to stuff@mondecitronne.com
how to add johnvertisements to a webpage
it is recommended that one inserts johnvertisements onto all webpages within their control. luckily, it is easy to do.
paste the "embed" into the HTML of all webpages:
<iframe src="https://john.citrons.xyz/embed?ref=example.com" style="margin-left:auto;display:block;margin-right:auto;max-width:732px;width:100%;height:94px;border:none;"></iframe>
replace "example.com" with the actual domain name of your website.
how to johnvertise
it is recommended that those sentient create johnvertisements. luckily, it is easy to do.
send an email to stuff@mondecitronne.com. please include the following:
- the image which comprises your advertisement
- (optional) a URL to direct those who click upon it
HOWEVER: there are various stipulations. these stipulations must be honored by the submitter in order to have their johnvertisement deployed.
stipulations (MANDATORY)
- the image should be 722x84, be in a common image format, contain no malware, and be less than 500KB.
- the image should be merited on its own, regardless of the content it links to.
- the ad and the content it links to should break 0 laws (unless such laws violate human rights)
- the ad should not be morally reprehensible
- the ad should not contain earthly (or martian) capitalism
- if you are to use an animated image format, the animated image should not contain rapid flashing
- you should be able to legally show the advertisement to a child
- you should be able to morally show the advertisement to a child
- the advertisement should not depict or condone heterosexuality
- the advertisement should not depict a hand with 8 fingers
- the advertisement should not depict nasal demons in a positive manner
submissions violatory of these stipulations will be rejected unconditionally. do not submit such advertisements. submissions may also be rejected for any arbitrary reason, regardless of the stipulations; however, this has not yet occurred.
please attach the image to the email, rather than sending a link. please name the image file something other than "johnvertisement.png", "john.png", "ad.png", or otherwise.
note that gmail tends to place my emails, even replies, in spam folders. check there if you do not see my reply, which will likely occur within a few days. (this response time is not guaranteed)
I am not john. do not call me john.