johnvertisement.

a change in reality occurred in the 203rd decade in which "marketing" via "john" began to exist. this was retroactively neologized into "johnvertisement".

what's different about johnvertisement is that instead of harvesting the soul of those involved via crude and invasive strategies, it is done remotely and automatically. as such, no monetary exchanges occur in the process of johnvertisement; the value gained by soul extraction covers all relevant costs.

johnvertisement is now in use by a certain number of people and is an X billion dollar industry, where X is a real number within the range 0-65535. there is a wide variety of johnvertisements in existence.

the identity of john has been discovered. it is confidential information.

leaderboard

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82157

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42867

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26615

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25979

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20890

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17935

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12000

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10419

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8730

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7669

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7345

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7202

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6577

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6560

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6234

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5639

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5550

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5240

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5211

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4769

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4527

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4435

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4375

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4312

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4238

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4175

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4127

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4072

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3938

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3795

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3623

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3590

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3540

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3462

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3357

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3349

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3236

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3166

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3100

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3029

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3011

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2678

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2658

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2634

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2457

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2440

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2431

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2378

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2340

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2318

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2226

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2224

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2212

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2154

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2138

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2128

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2120

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1992

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1976

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1963

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1939

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1931

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1906

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1881

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1876

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1828

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1826

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1780

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1752

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1707

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1692

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1674

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1635

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1620

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1569

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1564

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1562

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1476

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1434

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1428

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1423

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1398

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1378

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1352

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1325

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1320

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1316

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1312

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1262

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1254

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1251

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1251

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1236

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1233

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1229

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1215

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1203

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1192

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1150

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1141

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1116

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1115

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1115

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1088

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1086

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1077

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1077

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1064

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1048

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1028

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1022

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1015

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1012

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1008

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1000

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996

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985

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974

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966

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965

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947

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946

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940

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937

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920

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917

coolkase.dev

914

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907

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907

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899

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874

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873

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869

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868

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867

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861

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847

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846

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833

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822

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804

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796

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793

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780

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769

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766

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752

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740

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730

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698

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679

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667

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618

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596

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596

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529

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499

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481

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479

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465

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465

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456

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455

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453

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442

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440

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440

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433

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429

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419

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413

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409

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395

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390

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388

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386

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380

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376

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370

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360

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352

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352

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348

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343

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334

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330

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329

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328

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328

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327

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313

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311

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311

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309

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309

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309

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308

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308

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307

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306

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306

to be delisted, send a request to stuff@mondecitronne.com

how to add johnvertisements to a webpage

it is recommended that one inserts johnvertisements onto all webpages within their control. luckily, it is easy to do.

paste the "embed" into the HTML of all webpages:

<iframe src="https://john.citrons.xyz/embed?ref=example.com" style="margin-left:auto;display:block;margin-right:auto;max-width:732px;width:100%;height:94px;border:none;"></iframe>

replace "example.com" with the actual domain name of your website.

how to johnvertise

it is recommended that those sentient create johnvertisements. luckily, it is easy to do.

send an email to stuff@mondecitronne.com. please include the following:

HOWEVER: there are various stipulations. these stipulations must be honored by the submitter in order to have their johnvertisement deployed.

stipulations (MANDATORY)

submissions violatory of these stipulations will be rejected unconditionally. do not submit such advertisements. submissions may also be rejected for any arbitrary reason, regardless of the stipulations; however, this has not yet occurred.

please attach the image to the email, rather than sending a link. please name the image file something other than "johnvertisement.png", "john.png", "ad.png", or otherwise.

note that gmail tends to place my emails, even replies, in spam folders. check there if you do not see my reply, which will likely occur within a few days. (this response time is not guaranteed)

I am not john. do not call me john.